


Stickers With Silly Jokes and Puns

by unluckysoap



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, noyoutube!au, slightly-existential-crisis!dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-24 08:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8364301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unluckysoap/pseuds/unluckysoap
Summary: Dan has only just started his law degree and is pretty sure nineteen is slightly too early to have to deal with an existential crisis. He also comes across a colourful sticker with the university's Nightline number on it.Dan is so not ready. His sixth form teachers definitely haven't prepared him for the anxiety, warm smiles and cat stickers that evidently come with a questionable law degree.





	1. Chapter 1

Dan has been staring at the same word for at least ten minutes by now.

_done_

It does seem like an ordinary word and, indeed, it is an ordinary word. One among many, many ordinary words in this book he needs to read.

Why has he been staring at the word, though? No particular reason, it just happened to be the one he’s got stuck on when Dan's crisis stroke again and distracted him from trying to read the book.

One out of the ridiculous number of books he should be reading for one among way too many modules of his ridiculous course.

Law.

What did make him think it was a good idea to study law, for fuck's sake?

Yeah, it's a pretty good choice in general, he could get a nice career out of that and he's always been pretty good at studying, but-

-but why.

What is the point?

How is he supposed to go through the whole course, through all these years? He's barely just started. It's Dan's third week and he's already panicking while thinking of the exams.

And it's ten o'clock. At night. On Friday, for fuck's sake.

He's just started and, instead of going out with his... with the people he lives with at the university accommodation or people he knows from his lectures, he stayed at home to panic.

Then, as a silly idea to maybe try to make himself feel better by maybe doing something more productive, Dan decided he could go to a library and actually study.

A great idea, of course. In theory.

Because all he managed to do was changing the location of his hyperventilation practices.

Dan blows out all the air out of his lungs, making a weird, quiet sound through it.

This crap is just not doable at all.

He drops his head onto the book.

Impossible.

What is the fucking point, anyway?

What is the point of making himself go through years of studying things he doesn't even like?

And what then? What does happen after that?

Dan whines super quietly as he puts hands onto his head.

What is he even doing?

He takes a few deep breaths and sits up slowly, trying to calm down. There's no need for a panic attack, he's in a public place, he-

Dan makes awkward eye contact with a guy sitting three tables further.

So maybe he was slightly louder than he planned on being. And definitely acting weird, too.

He looks down to his book.

_done with the_

Dan is done with, too.

So, so badly.

He wants to hit the table with his head again, but as he glances to the side, he sees that the other guy is still staring at him.

Dan stands up and quickly walks away toward the bathroom.

Yes, that's actually a great idea. A quick freak out in a toilet, away from strangers’ confused looks.

Perfect.

When he gets in, Dan quickly locks the stall door and sits down on the closed toilet lid.

And that's when it turns out that maybe staying around people was a better idea. It was definitely more awkward, but here, with nobody to see, Dan's existential crisis hits hard. That shouldn’t be a surprise, as It always hits harder whenever he’s alone, which unfortunately is most of the time.

It is only a few minutes into the freak out that blinking through the tears Dan notices a colourful sticker on the door in front of him.

_University nightline. 8pm to 8am_

Yeah, he has heard of it, that it is supposed to be a number you can call and talk to a person about some problems or whatever.

Dan has no idea who would even volunteer to do that? People needing more credit, if you could get any doing that? People wanting to be seen as good and kind and oh-so-wonderful? Overachieving do-gooders with nothing to do at night but listening to whining teenagers?

Neither of those sounds like a person Dan would like to talk to.

But for some reason he finds himself putting the number into his cell phone and pressing the green button quickly, before he manages to convince himself it's a crap idea.

Well, he is a whiny teenager, so the person might as well listen to his silly complains. That's why they're there. To listen to people and their problems and-

Dan panics and immediately regrets calling. Because, exactly, they should be talking with people that have real problems, real worries. Not some paranoid kid that just doesn't know what he wants. He needs to hang up fast, before-

"Hi."

Dan pauses.

Too late.

What now? What does he do now? What does he say? That was such a horrible idea, he-

"Hello? You okay there?"

The guy's voice is pretty low, but he sounds nice and warm, with a proper Northern accent. He also sounds pretty worried and that finally makes Dan speak up.

"Uh, hi." Dan has never been good at talking to strangers, especially on the cell phone.

"Hey. How are you doing tonight?"

Dan takes a breath in. That's a trick question. He should lie, of course, then he can hang up and the guy can help someone who actually needs help.

"Uh, okay."

"Alright." The guy sounds like he doesn't quite believe Dan. Dan is not surprised, he doesn't believe himself either. "Do you want to talk about something in particular or just a random topic?"

Dan kind of likes how the guy's voice sounds like he's smiling, a real, honest smile.

"Not really."

Dan wants to swear at himself at how stupid and difficult he's being.

"That's fine, too." The guy must have patience of a saint, his voice still warm and kind. "Are you at home? Or, well, the accommodation?"

"In the toilet," Dan answers thoughtlessly. Then he panics again. "I mean, the library."

The guy chuckles quietly. Dan doesn't mind, because it doesn't feel like the guy's laughing at him, more like with him.

"The library toilet, then? Was it my sticker that got your attention?"

Dan looks back to the sticker on the door.

"Yours?"

"Yeah. It's a new design, new stickers. I put it there today."

Dan smiles briefly, trying to imagine a guy putting stickers on the all the toilet doors in the building. It must've looked a bit sketchy.

Dan isn't sure how to imagine the guy, though. He guesses lots of colours, judging by both the stickers and the warmth in the voice. Maybe a short, colourfully dressed person with a wide smile? Maybe with colourful hair as well? Spreading warmth and content wherever he goes?

"It's nice."

"Thank you." The guy is surely grinning. "I made it myself."

"Really?" Dan smiles softly at the sticker. "Cute." He pauses. "I mean, the sticker, not you- I mean, not that you're not cute- Or maybe- Uh-"

Dan panics. Does he tell a stranger they're cute or not cute? What is the appropriate behaviour in this situation?

The guy chuckles again.

"I'm not cute. I'm manly."

Dan snorts before he can stop himself.

"Sorry," Dan quickly says, because he also doesn't think doubting out loud when a person says _i'm manly_ is nice. It's probably rude. The guy has been very kind so far, Dan doesn't want to offend him.

"No worries," he says, obviously amused and definitely not offended.

"So, what are you doing at a library on a Friday night?" the guy asks after a moment of silence.

Dan tenses. That's quite what he liked not talking about.

"Uh. Studying." He's sure he sounds so uncomfortable.

"What are you studying then?" The guy asks, his voice gentler now, as if he knows that they're on more sensitive subject now.

"Law."

"Wow, that's real cool. It sounds difficult, though."

Dan is not sure what to answer to that, so he goes for a simplest option.

"It is."

"Do you like it?" is like the question Dan has always hoped not to hear.

He takes a long while to answer, breathing weirdly and he's sure the guy can hear every tiniest sound he makes.

"Uh, it's fine," he finally manages.

The guy hums in confirmation, as if thinking of what to say to that.

Dan sighs. He's so awkward that he makes a guy who's supposed to be comforting people feel awkward as well.

"But do you like what you're doing there?"

Once again, Dan takes forever to answer. The guy needs to stop asking such difficult questions.

"It's fine," he says again and swears in his mind for being so stupid.

"Why law?"

At least an easier question this time, though Dan feels like it's a trick one this time.

"It's a reasonable choice? Can find a job after that?" Dan has no idea whether he's answering or actually asking the guy.

"And what do you want to do after your degree? Like, a court lawyer? A solicitor? A judge, maybe? Or something else I have no idea about, since I don't know much about law?"

Dan is about to have a panic attack, trying to figure out an answer. There just isn't one, of course, he has no idea what he wants to do after his degree, assuming he actually survives and manages to pass, which sometimes seems way less likely than getting hit by a truck and just being done with it.

"Hello? Are you there?"

Dan is still trying to find the appropriate answer to the previous question that he only succeeds at answering with a pitiful whine.

He hears a sad sigh and immediately feels even worse. He made the guy feel sad, it's all because of him, all the warmth and smiles gone and-

"May I ask what's your name?"

Dan's existential crisis pauses for a moment.

"Wasn't this supposed to be like anonymous or something?"

"It is as anonymous as you want it to be. But, really, it's only your name. And Manchester University has like over thirty thousand students, just your name is definitely not enough to know who you are," the guy explains, the warmth back in his voice.

"Dan." Dan finally says after a long moment. "I'm Dan."

"As in Daniel?"

Dan frowns at that. He can hear the guy is just being cheeky, though.

"Just Dan."

"Alright, Just Dan. It's very nice to meet you," a laughing voice says and Dan feels a bit happier inside at the small Harry Potter reference. "I'm Phil."

Dan smiles softly at that. Phil. That name sounds nice and warm; it actually fits the guy's voice.

"Phil," he repeats, a bit thoughtlessly.

"Exactly. The Amazing Phil, ready to hear your worries and help. And make puns that some people think are very bad for some unexplainable reason. My puns are awesome, though."

Dan actually chuckles. He really, honestly chuckles, both amused and exasperated at how silly but, indeed, amazing Phil is being.

Phil feels more real now, too, with a name to go with the voice. It's still the easiness of talking to someone who has no means to judge him, as they've never properly met or seen each other, but it's slightly more intimate, too.

Dan takes a deep breath and decides to try to maybe explain what it is that he's freaking him out so badly. Maybe that'll help. Maybe that'll make it feel less serious. Maybe Phil will give Dan some advice that may actually help, along with silly jokes and puns that will definitely make Dan laugh, though he'll pretend they're ridiculous and not funny in the slightest.

Dan knows it's probably not very healthy, but maybe he can cope for a bit longer.

"So. The law thing," he kind of starts and Phil hums as a mean of ensuring Dan that he's listening.

Dan smiles nervously and begins talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little thing that turns out to be both my first phanfic and an effect of lack of Internet (and staying up until 3am).  
> I definitely hope to continue this thing, and very soon, too, but for now I want it to be kind of a stand-alone fic as well. I do have an idea for the continuation for this, a sequel of sorts, I just need to calm my other phan ideas and stop procrastinating so much.  
> I hope you all enjoyed and don't mind too much. Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days after the Nightline conversation with Phil seem a bit more bearable to Dan. Not by a lot, because his course is still an annoying nightmare, but he’s managing.

Until the next Friday when he finds himself in the same place, same bathroom and same situation.

He’s only partly panicking, slightly used to the constant level of worriedness. It really seems like he never stops worrying, although it’s probably not healthy.

But tonight, Dan is feeling a little buzz as well. A slight excitement.

It’s dumb, he knows that, but he’s sitting on the same toilet as he did last week and he’s choosing the same number to call, watching the same cute Nightline sticker, which this time has a girl’s name and a heart written next to it.

Dan takes a deep breath and makes the call.

As he’s watching his phone and waiting for it to connect, he takes a few more deep, calming breaths. At least, he hopes that he’ll be able to talk to Phil tonight. What if they have so many calls that he won’t manage to get through, though?

"Hi."

Dan smiles, hearing the warm, familiar voice coming from his cell phone. The tiny excitement buzzes in his tummy.

"Hi, Phil," he replies softly. He's not even sure if the other remembers him or is even able to recognize him after a week.

Actually, that's a stupid thought. Of course, Phil doesn't remember him. It's been a week. And Dan knows Phil talks to lots of people during his Nightline hours. Phil also seems like a super friendly and nice person, so he must have like lots of friends in real life. Why would he remember a strange kid he's spoken to once, on the phone at that? Especially, how could Phil even recognize Dan just by his voice?

Dan's excitement breaks a bit; he's feeling just stupid.

"Hello." Dan can hear a wide smile in Phil's voice. "It's nice talking to you again. Can I help you in any way?"

Dan raises his brows.

"Do you- can you remember me?" he asks slowly. Phil's just said _again_.

"Sorry, I don't think I can remember you exactly yet," the other says, sounding apologetically. Dan smiles sadly. He knew it. "I'm sorry, really. But I'm pretty sure we've talked before. Recently at that. Your voice is definitely familiar and you know my name. We must've talked for quite a while and you must've made quite an impression on me." Phil chuckles.

"No worries, I understand," Dan says, trying to seem fine. He does understand, yes, but it doesn't mean he's not tiny bit disappointed.

"Thank you," Phil says, sounding honestly thankful.

Dan snorts. The guy is just too nice.

"So, how have you been?"

Dan almost replies with a simple _fine_ immediately, but he stops himself. It's not true anyway.

"Same as the last time," he finally answers, a small cheeky smile forming on his face.

Phil doesn't answer for a moment.

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" he says in the end, sounding like he might be pouting.

"Maybe," Dan says, because he totally is. He's still slightly disappointed by not being remembered, so he might as well annoy Phil with that a bit.

"Little poo," Phil replies and Dan laughs, both because he likes that Phil knows not to keep their conversation very formal and, well, already he can see that Phil is not one to swear, therefore he uses other silly words when one would say a simple _shit_.

"Don't laugh at me, Dan," Phil says and he sounds so annoyingly pleased with himself that Dan's mischievous nature just needs to laugh at the other some mor-

Wait.

"You remember." Dan grins at his cell phone.

"I told you you've made quite an impression. I just needed a few moments."

The excitement Dan was feeling at the beginning multiplies. Phil actually remembers. Somehow. In some miraculous way.

Phil definitely deserves not to be laughed at anymore. He can be as pleased with himself as he wants and Dan will be just as happy with him.

"So how have you been this past week? Is your studying going well?" Phil asks. "And, most importantly, have you passed that fifteenth level yet? Tell me how."

Dan beams.

Dan’s quite lucky that the library has been pretty empty this evening. Dan's alone in the toilet and there's less probability for somebody else to come in and be freaked out by him laughing at how crap Phil is at playing games while sitting in a cubicle of a library toilet at eleven at night.

Well, relatively lucky.

 

*

 

On Friday two weeks later Dan finds himself calling Phil again, except this time from his room. It was quite an awkward moment a week ago when after a few minutes of Dan and Phil talking on the phone, one more voice spoke up from the cubicle next to Dan's, _"Mate, are you finishing the call anytime soon? Or can I flush the toilet and finally leave?"_

Dan felt like he'd never been so embarrassed before. He apologized and told the guy that, yeah, of course, he can leave. And then he apologized again.

On one hand Dan appreciated that there's a guy nice enough to want to wait with flushing the toilet until somebody's call is over, thinking it might be an important conversation; that's pretty awesome, because what if he was talking with like a professor or somebody he was trying to woo. That's being polite and Dan appreciates that.

But on the other hand, the thing that Dan didn't appreciate in the slightest was Phil laughing in his ear throughout the whole situation. That was very unnecessary and Dan honestly regretted that he couldn't glare at Phil to make him shut up.

Dan isn't sure if the calls are helping in a proper way. But then again, Phil has explained, the Nightline staff are not professional therapists, they're there to talk through one's problems, to help see the solution to a problem, to maybe give a simple advice. Basically, to be there for people that need to talk to another human being when somebody feels like there's nobody they can talk to.

Dan is still amazed at Phil for doing that.

And then he calls again on the fifth week.

It's soothing in a way, knowing that there's somebody Dan's told everything to, all he is worried about, and who can both distract him and give him proper advices.

But it's probably not too good that the call became one of the main points of Dan's week, something he looks forward to while trying to just bear through anything else.

He can't help it, though. Phil is really cool and so kind and super amazing and, well, sometimes totally hopeless with his ridiculous jokes, but Dan likes all of those things. He mostly regrets that they don't know each other in real life.

He's not sure if Phil would like him if they really met, though. Dan isn't the most entertaining person ever. And, well, it's Phil. He's sure to have lots of awesome best friends and Dan would stand no chance with them.

Dan has talked with Phil only five times now, but he thinks he knows him a bit. Phil said he's four years older, he's doing a Master of Arts in Video... Something with editing videos, basically. That was quite a long name and Dan mostly focused on the fact that it sounds so much cooler than Dan's law. Though, he's not sure if Phil's English Language degree sound better than the horrifying course Dan's chosen.

Dan also knows they have similar type in music and games. And movies. And tv shows. Basically, they like lots of the same things.

As if Phil needed to be any more perfect.

And that's why it's only Wednesday and Dan is already looking forward to Friday evening. He's in between his lectures and walking from one building to the other (because why would the university make their lectures in one single building, the students might as well spend their whole small break walking from one place to another, why not).

But as Dan is thinking of the last conversation with Phil, he doesn't even feel like focusing on feeling annoyed by all the walking. Phil has mentioned this one tv show that he was sure Dan would love, but Dan just can't remember what the title was.

Focusing hard to remember at least one word of the title, Dan passes the Biology building and turns left.

He feels his body hitting something and falls back onto his butt before he manages to realise what just happened.

Dan looks up and sees a guy standing in front of him.

Of course, he had to walk into somebody and be the klutz enough to be the only one to fall down.

 _Wonderful_ , Dan thinks annoyed, trying to make a smile awkwardly at the guy.

And, of course, the guy had to be cute and had to have these beautiful blue eyes.

_Awesome._

"Are you okay?" the guy asks, holding out his hand to Dan to help him to stand back up.

Dan doesn't take the hand, though. He only blinks, because...

Dan knows that voice. He doesn't know that greatly, of course, as he's heard it only on the phone. But-

"Um. Hey? Are you hurt?" The guy asks again and Dan almost implodes, because he's like eighty nine percent sure it's _that_ voice.

Phil's voice.

So it must be Phil.

Fuck. Bloody hell.

"Great," Dan answers, trying to make his voice sound all weird and different than normal. It’s super unlikely that Phil (if it’s really him) would recognize him just like that, but Dan prefers to be on the safe side, just in case.

He gets up from the floor, not accepting Phil’s help and just looking awkward.

“Are you sure you’re fine?” Maybe-Phil asks, sounds worried enough to make Dan feel bad (and he recognizes the worrying, that exact sound of it. The lone fact that he does should worry Dan a lot, too).

Dan nods quickly.

“I’ll just…I’m late,” he says hurriedly and walks away, before possibly-Phil has a chance to even react.

Whew, that was close. And awkward. And really, really bad.

But that had to be done. There are quite a few reasons why Phil, if that’s really him, shouldn’t know Dan was Dan. The reasons are mostly stupid ones, but that’s all he’s got.

 

*

 

Once again on a Friday night Dan ends up calling Phil.

He’s not feeling so bad. If he was to ignore how he still hates his lectures (and he is to have a seminar in two weeks), he’d say things were going reasonably well. Phil has made him promise to try to speak to some of his flatmates and that actually turned out pretty good. There was this one guy that made the mood to awkward for them to even try to talk, but there’s another one that Dan gets along with very well. They ended up getting excited over Kanye West together and Dan could definitely imagine maybe becoming friends with him.

And then there was Phil. Dan doesn’t care how silly it is, but each week he keeps looking forward to that one day, to Friday, to be able to call him.

Dan also tries not to think that maybe he could try calling Nightline on a different day. What if Phil isn’t there, if Dan does that? He also doesn’t want to bother Phil too much. The older guy is super nice, but there must be a limit to how much of Dan’s whining he can take.

“Hello,” Phil says and his voice sounds very cheerful tonight.

“Hi, Phil.” Just hearing him speak makes Dan smile. “You seem awfully happy today.”

“Well, it was the time for you to call,” he says simply.

Dan chuckles and snorts at once, which he doesn’t think makes a nice sound in the end. Dan would mind, but it makes Phil laugh.

“And that makes you happy?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Phil says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Dan rolls his eyes, exasperated. He’s almost sure Phil kind of flirts with him at times and that probably should be weird. It’s not, though. Dan definitely flirts back.

And Dan might also be growing a teeny tiny crush on Phil. It’s not his fault, it’s Phil’s for being so awesome.

“You haven’t even met me,” Dan laughs. “You don’t even know what I look like.”

Phil snorts.

“I know you’re cute anyway. You’re probably cute and tiny and very huggable, even with your obsession with dark clothes.”

“I’m so not tiny!” Dan whines. “And even less cute than tiny,” he adds as an afterthought.

“I find it difficult to believe you’re not tiny. But I can’t be made to believe you’re not cute.”

“You’re cute,” Dan remarks, trying for it to sound mean. He’s annoyed with how flushed he’s feeling at the other’s words.

“You haven’t seen me either,” Phil laughs.

Dan smirks at his phone.

“I actually have.”

Because by now he’s like ninety eight percent sure that guy he bumped into was Phil. Also, he might’ve seen him again later, hanging out with some friends and one of them actually used the name. It was totally this Phil.

“What?” Phil sounds surprised, obviously. “When? How?”

“It was an accident. But, yeah, that was totally you.”

“What was an accident? How did you know?” Phil seems very confused.

“I just know things,” Dan says and shrugs. “How could I not recognize the Amazing Phil?”

“You should’ve said something. You should say _hello_ to me,” Phil decides as if it’s a real possibility.

Dan snorts. As if a silly, whiny freshman would come up to this cool guy doing a Master’s, that’s just not done.

He quickly changes the topic with something that always distracts Phil, and then about thirty minutes later Dan is made to talk about his week went. And there’s really not much to talk about. He mentions his lectures briefly, and the creepy flatmate. He talks about the flatmate that he might actually end up liking and who invited him out tomorrow to go for some party. He talks about the show he’s started tomorrow.

Dan honestly doesn’t have that many things happening to him to talk about. He struggles to find more details of his week, because Phil keeps asking, and at some point, before he even realizes that he shouldn’t, he starts complaining about the lectures buildings being too far and how he walked into somebody and-

It’s definitely too late to stop the story now, Dan realizes, not wanting to stop midsentence and trying to find something to add, so Phil wouldn’t manage to link it to his own story of being walked into.

“Yeah, Tuesday are really annoying days, all the lectures are in different buildings,” he adds, wanting to make it seem like the bumping into somebody didn’t happen on Wednesday. And, well, it’s not like he’s lying, he does have two lectures on Tuesday and they’re in different buildings. It’s not quite a lie if Phil assumes that he means it was Tuesday.

Phil laughs.

“I don’t think you can avoid bumping into people here. It happened to me this week, too, although I was actually a victim this time,” he says. “Though, maybe standing in the middle of the pavement was not a good idea.”

Dan needs a moment to stop himself from making a squeaky, excited sound, because, fuck, so that was Phil, that was definitely Phil, a hundred and two percent Phil.

“Haha, yeah,” Dan laughs, grinning. “But as much as you should not stand still in people’s way, he should’ve been more careful about where he’s going,” Dan says, because it’s completely his fault that he bumped into Phil.

Then he freezes. Phil didn’t mention exactly what happened or that it was a boy walking into him. And it’s not something Dan should’ve assumed and it’s probably super suspicious and Dan panics.

Phil doesn’t seem to pay that much attention, though, just humming in agreement. Dan is so relieved; he has no idea how he could explain himself out of that.

“I might have been kind of invited for a club outing tomorrow,” Dan changes the subject quickly, not wanting to give Phil enough time to overthink what he said a moment ago.

“Really?” Phil actually sounds excited, even though it’s Dan who’s going out. “Are you going? You should go.”

“I think I might,” Dan says softly. He’s spent two months at this hellhole called university, so he might as well have some fun. And some cocktails. Definitely cocktails, yes. It’s been too long since he had one and what is life without a fruity, colourful drink with a cute little umbrella.

“Have lots of fun and tell me all about that later,” Phil says. “And stay safe.”

Dan rolls his eyes.

“And don’t accept sweets from strangers. Don’t follow them to a van,” Phil adds.

Dan laughs and Phil doesn’t take long before he’s laughing, too.

“No, but, really. Don’t,” he says after a moment, though.

“Okay. I’ll try not to get kidnapped by strangers with sweets and vans,” Dan says and snorts at the idea. He’s not quite the type that kind of people go for.

Phil tries to explain how that’s supposedly a valid idea, but Dan is only laughing through all of it.

“- and you’ve seen _Silence of the Lambs_ , yeah? I’d rather you don’t end up as a sweater,” Phil says and honestly sounds upset by the concept. “I don’t even think there’s enough of you to make a sweater. You need quite a lot of skin for that. You could probably make, like, socks, though? Or pants?”

Dan’s staring at the wall as he’s listening to this ridiculousness. He’s kind of getting used to the weird stories that Phil sometimes starts telling; one can never guess where the older’s mind will go to and at times that’s just incredible.

“Great,” Dan murmurs, trying to sound very unimpressed.

“That totally could hap- Oh!”

Dan raises his brow at the sudden happy yell mid-word.

“What is _Oh_?” he asks, but all he gets is laughter.

“No, nothing, Danny boy,” Phil says, obviously grinning.

Dan narrows his eyes, both not quite believing in the _nothing_ and annoyed at the nickname.

“Alright,” he replies, feeling pretty suspicious.

“Have you ever tried pumpkin spice liquor?” Phil asks out of nowhere.

Dan hasn’t, but he would love to.

 

*

 

On Monday Dan spends lunch in the nice, relaxing part of library with comfortable couches. He loves this place of the university as it’s completely fine for him to basically lie barely alive and nobody bats an eye at that.

Sometimes people even take naps in here between lectures, which sounds like a wonderful idea.

A nap sounds that much awesome for Dan at the moment, because he’s still not quite awake, even though it’s almost two in the afternoon. And, well, he’s not feeling well enough.

A guy spoke with him an hour ago and told him it’s actually normal, lots of people get colds in this time of a year, especially first year students.

Dan nodded, because, of course, it’s autumn, the weather is getting shittier and shittier, it’s understandable, that’s definitely why he’s sick.

Yes, it’s definitely a cold. It’s not like his Saturday night party finished this morning, no way, that’d be very unreasonable and stupid of him.

(Except Dan and two of his flatmates might’ve come back to their place only at four in the morning on Monday, knowing they start classes at nine. And they might’ve spent the previous night, day and a bit of the other night _finishing up the party_ at a private house of some third year students none of them knew or now even remembers.)

That’s why, because of the obvious cold, Dan needs a moment to regenerate to be able to survive two more lectures before he can go home and suffer in his own bed.

And it’s not like Dan can just ditch and go back to sleep now. He envies his flatmate studying engineering, because the guy’s lectures have like a hundred students there. The university has the law students divided into twelve people groups and that’s just more noticeable when somebody decides to play hooky.

So in the meantime Dan hums happily to himself, enjoying the nice couch and the reasonable silence of the library. There’s only quiet murmur of discreet conversations, which he doesn’t mind at all. It’s kind of calming actually and-

And Dan literally jumps up when he hears a loud bang of something obviously falling onto the floor.

He opens his eyes and looks around, disoriented. He notices a group of students a few tables away and with one of them diving under a table while the others are just shaking their heads exasperated. Dan is pretty sure the noise came from that direction.

He watches the students say things to their friend under the table, for him to be more careful.

Dan smiles softly, because he understands that, it’s like one has got holes in their hands and just keeps dropping things all the time. It’s good to know it doesn’t happen only to him.

Dan is about to look away again and go back to his little rest with his eyes closed, while the person finally gets out from under the table.

It’s Phil.

Dan’s eyes widen, because he didn’t expect to see the older. He knows Phil has no idea what Dan looks like, but he still tries to melt more into the couch. And, well, he chuckles, because, yeah, from what Phil said, the older is definitely a person Dan would expect to drop heavy things in a quiet library.

He keeps chuckling to himself until suddenly Phil looks towards him, exactly at Dan and grins.

Dan freezes, not sure what to do. Phil can’t know it’s him, right?

No, he definitely doesn’t.

Maybe Phil just saw somebody smiling, so he smiled as well? Yes, that sounds like Phil. Yeah.

Dan tries to smile back at Phil, but he’s sure it comes out looking very awkward.

Phil chuckles, smiles again and looks back to his friends, as one of them is talking to him at the moment.

Dan closes his eyes again, trying to calm himself. Phil smiled at him. But Phil didn’t know the awkward, sickly looking kid on the couch was Dan. But he still smiled at him.

That was, well, nice. Phil was very nice. And he’s got a super nice smile.

Dan feels slightly better and marginally less like vomiting.

 

*

 

While waiting for the right time to finally call Phil again, Dan is pretending to tidy up his tiny desk. He's got way too many papers and notebooks spread all around that he usually just drops onto the desk and never looks at again. He doesn't even make space for his laptop, just putting it on top of everything.

As he throws some pizza places adverts into the bin, he feels that something sticks to the side of his little finger. He grimaces, because it's probably something gross and why has he got it-

Oh. Dan looks at his finger. It's nothing gross. It's that cat sticker that he found on his arm on Monday afternoon and that somehow hid until now.

He has no idea how the sticker got onto his arm, though. He was still slightly drunk throughout most of the day, but he'd remember playing with stickers. All he did was having a little nap in the library and then he went to the two lectures. And then Dan came back home with a questionable sticker on his arm.

To make things weirder, he's found a similar cat on the Nightline sticker in the toilet he used to call from.

Dan shakes his head. He doesn't understand why some people have this need to put stickers on everything. Even on strangers, it seems.

He shrugs and looks at the clock.

Alright, it does seem like the right time. He can call Phil.

Dan dials the number and sits down on his bed, getting comfortable.

"Hi," a voice says and Dan freezes.

It's not Phil's voice. It's not warm, deep voice with the Northern accent Dan has gotten so used to.

It is reasonably warm, he guesses, except it's not deep at all and, well, it's a girl's voice.

Dan blinks at his cell phone, completely unprepared for this kind of situation.

"Hello? Are you okay there?" the voice turns worried.

"Uh, yeah," Dan mumbles. "Sorry," he adds quickly and hangs up.

With a mess in his mind, he throws himself onto his bed and hides under the duvet.

It's so ridiculous. He should've expected that, he shouldn't be surprised by Phil not picking the Nightline phone every single time. He's not the only person working there. There must be lots of other people who work there, so maybe it's their turn today. Maybe Phil had other things to do this evening, maybe he wanted to go out for once, it's Friday for fuck's sake. Or maybe he's talking with somebody else at the moment, maybe he's actually helping somebody who needs the help.

Maybe Phil's got tired of him. Well, how long can a guy listen to whining of a nineteen year old kid? There has to be a limit.

And, well, Phil has made it so long, his limit is definitely super high. That must be enough.

Dan has no idea what to do now.

 

*

 

From Friday evening Dan's weekend goes very, very badly. He spends all his time rewatching his favorite tv shows and barely even goes out of his room for food.

He's sure he looks pretty rough, because one of his flatmate actually looked scared when she saw him at two o'clock at night, with the fridge open and the light from it making him look even scarier. She ran away, before he even could say anything. Well, good.

On Monday he realizes he's got a seminar to do. For Tuesday. So basically he's got a day to get ready for it.

Dan is annoyed at himself, because he has kind of promised to his own damn self to stop doing things at the last possible moment, but it seems some things just don't change.

He shrugs and goes through another night of hard work (because attempting to watch three seasons in two days was no easy job, too) and only a tiny nap in the morning.

As he's starting the seminar, he looks like death but at least he's finished and he's reasonably okay with what he came up during only one night.

(Dan always likes to dream and wonder how great his assignments would be if he tried to start to work on them a while before the due date. It's a nice thought. He has no idea, though, because that's never happened.)

And that's also how the rest of his week looks like. Lots of Dan staying in his room, sometimes going outside for his lectures. Also a party happens on a weekday when he ends up with his face coloured and he only manages to partly wash it off in the morning, which results in Dan walking around with a red face and a dark green spot on his right cheek.

Next Friday Dan doesn't try to call Phil. It's clear the older has gotten tired of him and there's only so much of whining he can bear.

That's alright, though.

Dan can deal. Or he cannot. Either way, no need to bother Phil with that.

 

*

 

Dan spends another two weeks in-between moods, going from just being lazy and not even looking at any kind of books to spending his whole days in library staring at text and trying to understand anything.

He can admit his current life style is not very healthy. Dan doesn't care, though. He's surviving and managing. And currently napping on a table in the library, with his head on the book he was pretending to read (and that he needs to finish until Monday. It's Saturday and he hasn’t even got through the first half, though).

But there's only so long that one can sleep on a desk. Finally, he sits up.

Dan glares at the ridiculous book and freezes.

He doesn't remember a pink post-it note being there before. He doesn't even have pink post-it notes.

He raises his brow and picks up the note.

"Why do the scuba divers fall backwards from the boat?" Dan reads, his brows furrowing. What is this? Where did it come from? Why would anybody even put it here.

"What?" he murmurs to himself, completely confused.

"So? Any idea?" a voice from his right says and Dan jumps up on his chair. He turns to the side and almost falls off the chair.

"P-Phil!" Dan didn't expect anybody and especially not Phil. "What- How?"

"Do you know? Why do scuba divers fall backwards from the boat?"

Dan blinks, still confused. He's not sure what to expect, especially with Phil appearing out of nowhere. Does he even know Dan is Dan? How?

"No. Why?" he tries carefully.

"Because if they fell forwards, they'd fall into the boat," Phil replies, grinning.

Dan stares at him.

Is Phil fucking with him? Is he joking? Coming up out of nowhere and saying this kind of bullshit-

Dan blinks. And he snorts.

Then Dan starts laughing, because the situation is just so ridiculous.

He vaguely remembers it's a library and he probably should be reasonably quiet, so he tries to keep the laughter down and pretty much hides his face in the book trying to read as he’s trying to calm down.

"I knew you'd like this joke, Dan," Phil says, chuckling as well.

Dan snorts harder, calming his laughter a bit.

The joke was terrible, really. It's the situation that's ridiculous and confusing.

Dan doesn't mind letting Phil believe he liked his joke, though.

 

*

 

The same evening Dan is getting ready to call Phil again.

It feels slightly weird, because it’s Saturday, but he doesn’t care. He’s grinning, though, and he can’t wait to speak with the older boy again.

He takes a few deep breaths and finally dials the number. It feels the same as it did all those times before, but also so much different.

“Hel-“ Dan starts, but he stops mid-word when he notices something.

“Hi, Dan,” Phil replies happily anyway, unaware.

“Phil,” Dan starts, already feeling exasperated with the other, and they’ve only started talking. “Have you put a flower sticker on the book?”

Phil doesn’t answer immediately, which is basically him admitting it.

“Phil, that is not my book, it’s from the library!”

“Whoops,” the older says, chuckling.

Dan sighs, hoping he doesn’t sound like he’s smiling.

“I have a joke, though,” Phil says, probably wanting to change the subject. Dan really wants not to fall for it, but Phil is just impossible to disappoint and not agree to hear out his jokes.

“Okay,” Dan agrees and sighs again. He has no idea what to expect, but from the little _gems_ he’s heard from Phil all the previous times they talked, he knows it’ll be a magical one.

“What ghosts- Wait, no,” Phil starts awkwardly, slipping up on the start. Dan chuckles.

“Good one.”

“What room does a ghost not need in his house?” This time Phil succeeds.

Dan spends a moment wondering, as he knows it’s quite a trick question. He gives up pretty quickly, though.

“What?”

“A living room,” Phil answers happily, grinning.

Dan whines loudly at the ridiculousness.

He’s torn between swearing and… Something else that he doesn’t even know what that is.

“I don’t even know what to feel,” he complains. “I need you to leave the galaxy, that’s just-“ Dan seriously has no words for this.

Phil laughs.

Dan drops onto his bed, face first, because he just cannot deal with how ridiculous Phil is at times.

He both adores and despises that it seems like from now on he’ll have no choice but to deal with that ridiculousness, because Phil’s got Dan’s number now and can bother Dan any time he wants.

And also Dan’s got Phil’s cell phone number, so he can bother Phil back, too.

That makes everything seems a tiny bit more bearable.

(Even the puns.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was considering putting this thing up as a separate work belonging in one series with the first part, but, what the hell, just throwing it here as the second chapter seems more reasonable in the end. Even if the first part can kind of deal on its own. Huh.  
> (Btw, hit me up on twitter, @unluckysoap, I need more phan friends~ c: )  
> Thank you <3


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